Music and Friendship
There’s a new song by the band 311 called “Hey You” which literally thanks music for always being their friend. The concept being that music is something that has always been there for them. I’d like to take that a step further and thank music for giving me lifelong friends. I’ve garnered many a friendship over the years mostly due to playing and hanging out with other musicians. I know my life would be far less full without these relationships and music was the conduit through which they were formed.
Friendships are usually made through some basis of commonality. Whether it be work, school or sports, there has to be something that throws you together to get the ball rolling. For me since my teen-age years a large part of my friendships have come through playing in bands. I think that music having a spiritual aspect to it adds a little extra to the mix. When you experience the high of performing well together as a group as well as personally whether technically or just nailing that perfect groove, I think a special bond develops. That’s why I think when bands break up it can be a bit messy at times. Emotions are heavily tied to music. In order to play well together you have surrender somewhat, let your guard down and truly listen to the people you’re with. Always with the thought, “ What can I add (or not add) to what we’re doing here that will make it better?” That exact concept is mirrored in strong friendships.
Perhaps one of the closest friendships in my life came through a musical connection. We met in high school. I had just started playing drums seriously and I came across this guy playing tunes on a guitar of a band I was heavily into while we were waiting to board a bus to go on a retreat (we went to a Jesuit Catholic Prep School). Although we ended up hanging out in the same group for the rest of our time there it wasn’t until after we had graduated that we became close friends. We started playing in bands together and the friendship grew and we became like brothers. Karl passed on from this world about eleven years ago. He was the most talented musician/artist I’ve ever seen. Definitely the most unusual person I’ve ever met. The effects and impact he made on my life I still feel everyday. Through being his friend I met his sister who I also played with in a band. She is a dear friend and I became a godfather to one of her sons last year. Just a couple of examples really…there are so many more.
All brothers and sisters through this gift from God known as music. It’s a powerful medium. So music, I thank you not only for being my friend but for the wonderful, amazing people you’ve put in my life.